There once was a man, a somewhat brilliant ornithologist, who approached me on the street. He spoke of a new breed of bird he found, thought to be mythical, and has confirmed of its existence. He preached with joy over this accomplishment and said he would go down in history books... I looked him straight in the eye and said:
"I also discovered a creature of the avian variety called "Flying Fucks". Ornithologists, like yourself, requested that I go forth and catch at least two of these great creatures and return them to society. Once I went back into the wild, they had already gone back into hiding, never to be found again. I returned to society and the ornithologists demanded that I give them the birds. Not only did I not have them in my possession, but I didn't even want to give them the birds anyway. So I am going to tell you exactly what I told them. 'I simply can't give two angrily, aggressive sexual beings of the avian variety. Simply, what I'm trying to say is I don't give two Flying Fucks!'
Now how do you feel about me wasting your time with bullshit you don't care about? Go blab it to the other ornithologists that care!"
After that, the ornithologist started to weep, scurried to the nearest bush (marking his path with tears) and started to masturbate his pains away. He still feels this pain today....don't go to the bush on the corner of Oakland and Grey Street.
